One of the most important partnerships in a young child’s life is that between her parents and her school. For that reason, I am always so happy when parents of my students ask me, “What can we do at home?”
Let me start by saying that I do not recommend that parents set up their home to look like a Montessori classroom. Many of the Montessori materials lose their purposes outside of the carefully prepared environment of a Montessori school and under the direction of a Montessori-trained teacher.
It is also not beneficial for any member of the family for a home to be centered completely around the interests of the children in it or to be centered completely around the interests of the adults in it; there must be a balance, a harmony and an order to the home that will make it a beautiful home environment for all who live in it. I am not a believer in having toys scattered in every room of the house just in case a child wants to play; instead having one small play area outside of the child’s bedroom (i.e., family room or an area of the basement) is appropriate. It is helpful if this play area is designed so that the toys can be put away and “out-of-sight” when needed so that adults can use the room for themselves.
Keep in mind that all of these suggestions have a central theme: Don’t do for a child what he can do for himself. Parents should model and show a child but allow him to take the time needed to learn a task and to master it. Remember: Mistakes are o.k. In fact, they are more than o.k. – they are critical to the learning process and development of the child.
The Child’s Bedroom
The child’s bedroom should be a room that is designed around the child’s needs and interests. Decorations and pictures should be hung at the child’s eye level so that she is able to admire it at any time. The bed should be low enough for the child to get in and out of freely and independently. Even a very young child can sleep on a floor bed as long as heavy furniture is bolted to the walls and the room is safe from any hazards. A low dresser with a few drawers is ideal for a young child to choose his clothing and dress himself (a full-size mirror helps, too); a low dresser also aids a child to be able to put away his laundry independently.
A low shelf in the room is perfect for a few toys in a basket or on a tray (about four or five toys). For a young child, too many options can be distracting and over-stimulating. Toys can always be rotated every few weeks with input from the child. IKEA has many reasonable options on low shelves (entertainment stands, display stands, etc.) that are low to the ground and perfect for shelving for young children. Included on the shelf may be some large blank pieces of paper (8 ½” x 11”), a few (washable) crayons and an art mat (I recommend these). In order to play with toys or draw, a low table and a child-sized chair is nice to have in a child’s bedroom.
The child’s bedroom should also have a quiet reading area with a child-size rocking chair and a low bookshelf designed so that the child can see the cover of the book. Just as with the number of toys, the number of books should be limited to four or five books and can be rotated with input from the child or based on the time of year. For the primary-aged child, books should be based on realistic topics that are relatable.
The Bathroom
Step stools are “game changers” for independent children in bathrooms, especially since bathrooms are usually shared. Buying several step stools that can easily be cleaned and placed by the sink and by the toilet in any bathroom that the child uses is crucial for respecting the needs of young children. Hanging hooks and towel bars at a low level in the bathroom can help children learn how to hang their own towels and bathrobes. Lastly, an easily accessible laundry basket or hamper can help in cleaning up and also aid in your child helping with the laundry process.
The Kitchen and Dining Area
Primary-aged children are fascinated by what goes on in the kitchen and often want to be a part of the process. Having a high step stool for a child to be able to see the countertop and participate in the process will encourage this interest. Child-sized cooking utensils and safe knives can be purchased to help with food preparation; cutting soft fruits and vegetables, mixing, measuring and pouring are some of the food-related activities that children can help with. The high step stool can also be used by the sink for dish-washing purposes; often, parents will re-wash these dishes to ensure they are clean, but make sure to do this out of the child’s sight! A child-sized broom and dustpan are helpful for cleaning as are a trash can that the child has access to and cloths to clean up spills (a separate one for the floor).
Designating a low cabinet or shelf for the child’s plates, glasses and utensils will help the child be independent in setting the table for mealtime or a snack. Having small pitchers of water and milk in the fridge encourages independence in serving a drink; easy-to-reach snacks in a pantry (I love these Oxo pop-up containers) help in a child serving himself a snack. Lastly, a child-sized table and chairs are very important to have in the kitchen or eating area.
Will it always be easy? Absolutely, not. Will there be a learning curve? Most definitely, yes, and it will probably be a steep one. Will you want to give up and do it all yourself? Probably, yes. But when your child is six and gets up on a Saturday morning, brushes her own teeth, serves herself cereal, pours the milk, and then helps her little brother to do the same before you’ve poured your first cup of coffee, it will totally be worth it.